If you are a stay at home mom or single mom - you know how easy it is to get stressed and try to force a solution or work harder to make one happen.
It's easier somehow to neglect your health and well being when you have so many other responsibilities!!
I like lists, so I made a short one to cover some ways to de-stress:
* drink tea and relax while reading at least part of a book
* try to exercise
* try to focus on eating healthy, even when I'd rather munch down on a ton of chocolate
* read a positive thinking book
* make lists of positive aspects of my life (hard when I'm broke, easier when I have more money!!)
* watch a movie I actually enjoy (which I plan to do later on tonight)
* make a schedule I can keep
* make a little bit of time for myself -- even if it's only late at night when both kids are in bed
AND -- my favorite --
Walk to the beach!!
It wasn't until I moved so far away from the beach that I realized how much I missed it. I missed the sound of the ocean, the smell of the salt air and the sand. I missed the relaxed vibe as well.
That's why I came to the decision that I was moving back to a beach -- because, with all the other stress, lack of time and needs of my children, I needed something just for me! And, even if it means spending money again to move, I am going to, as it will mean less stress in the future for me.
So, now again, as in the beginning of each different stay at home work situation, I am in the analysis stage of determining which beach will best meet my needs.
:) I can't wait!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Positive thinking
There are so many wonderful books and websites about positive thinking, that it becomes a little overwhelming to read them all.
Some of my favorite books are:
The Power of Positive Thinking
Make Up Don't Break Up (if you are on the verge of a breakup or divorce, this is a fabulous book)
Cash Machine for Life (wonderful book to help you find/start a business)
Thought Conditioners (available as free download on guideposts.com)
Your Money or Your Life
The Millionaire Next Door
I will have to look over my bookshelves again and see what else I have out there. I love reading and I love retraining my brain so that I become a more positive person. It is a daily struggle, but totally worth it!
I honestly believe that positive thinking can help you reach your goals and stay focused in times of stress. It is worth the extra effort it takes to do so!!
Some of my favorite books are:
The Power of Positive Thinking
Make Up Don't Break Up (if you are on the verge of a breakup or divorce, this is a fabulous book)
Cash Machine for Life (wonderful book to help you find/start a business)
Thought Conditioners (available as free download on guideposts.com)
Your Money or Your Life
The Millionaire Next Door
I will have to look over my bookshelves again and see what else I have out there. I love reading and I love retraining my brain so that I become a more positive person. It is a daily struggle, but totally worth it!
I honestly believe that positive thinking can help you reach your goals and stay focused in times of stress. It is worth the extra effort it takes to do so!!
Labradoodles
Another aspect of my life that helps enable me to work from home is breeding dogs. I would have never seen myself doing this, but I have always loved animals and it fell in my lap somewhat.
I have a wonderful friend who has many, many children and a fabulous hubby who breeds labradoodles. She told me all about what wonderful family pets they were as well as their tendency to be no/low allergenic, which was my main concern as my son and I have allergies.
SOOO after analyzing the risks (something you need to do always, especially as the sole provider for your kids), I took out my retirement money from my teaching job and used it to invest in the dogs I use for my business.
We had our first litter in August of 4 puppies and have sold 2 -- and on the verge of selling the 3rd. To me, this is success as I was extremely concerned that I wouldn't break even or make money on this side business.
To me, what made this a worthwhile side job was that there wasn't as much involved day to day as my teaching jobs.
I teach for several schools and it really keeps me hopping daily, and I needed another business to bring in money that wouldn't be as time consuming, and this was it for me.
So....I am praying now that I'll sell the third dog as that'll be the extra money I need to keep me afloat during the winter holidays where the schools are closed. Since I am a contract employee for each school, I don't get paid unless I work.
I do have money in savings for this, but I want to use that money to pay for my move in the beginning of next year. That's another important thought for another post -- but remember 2 things you need to have: savings and an environment that is conducive to doing your best work!
I have a wonderful friend who has many, many children and a fabulous hubby who breeds labradoodles. She told me all about what wonderful family pets they were as well as their tendency to be no/low allergenic, which was my main concern as my son and I have allergies.
SOOO after analyzing the risks (something you need to do always, especially as the sole provider for your kids), I took out my retirement money from my teaching job and used it to invest in the dogs I use for my business.
We had our first litter in August of 4 puppies and have sold 2 -- and on the verge of selling the 3rd. To me, this is success as I was extremely concerned that I wouldn't break even or make money on this side business.
To me, what made this a worthwhile side job was that there wasn't as much involved day to day as my teaching jobs.
I teach for several schools and it really keeps me hopping daily, and I needed another business to bring in money that wouldn't be as time consuming, and this was it for me.
So....I am praying now that I'll sell the third dog as that'll be the extra money I need to keep me afloat during the winter holidays where the schools are closed. Since I am a contract employee for each school, I don't get paid unless I work.
I do have money in savings for this, but I want to use that money to pay for my move in the beginning of next year. That's another important thought for another post -- but remember 2 things you need to have: savings and an environment that is conducive to doing your best work!
Today
This year has been a little stressful. I moved to make a fresh start after all of that old drama, and I don't really like where I am. So, I will be moving back to a beach, although not anywhere near where I came from.
I found out that my teen was considered on the Asperger's spectrum. That alone has been really hard to deal with, as there are many things I could do for him that I just can't afford, both in time and money. Just because I'm at home doesn't mean that I have unlimited time to spend. It has been a real challenge as well, since I don't receive regular child support. This year, I have received $200 TOTAL and that is a good year -- as I haven't received any for most of his life.
It is hard to let that bitterness go, but that is a whole other blog even!!
Recently, my son decided he will go to Job Corps., which will be great option for him. He can get some technical training to begin working, and earn his HS degree by showing competency as opposed to seat time, which is huge for him.
I am looking forward to him beginning to work towards his potential, but it is sad to realize that he will be leaving the nest at the tender age of 16. I feel sad as well, since I have had such a struggle with him and feel badly that I haven't had the time to devote my whole life to him as I would have liked.
So, we will see. Now the next part of raising a new family begins, as my daughter is 2 and it seems almost as if I have 2 separate families. This will definitely color where I decide ultimately to move, and my long term work plans.
The next month or so will be spent researching exactly which Job Corps he will attend, and planning/preparing him to go.
I found out that my teen was considered on the Asperger's spectrum. That alone has been really hard to deal with, as there are many things I could do for him that I just can't afford, both in time and money. Just because I'm at home doesn't mean that I have unlimited time to spend. It has been a real challenge as well, since I don't receive regular child support. This year, I have received $200 TOTAL and that is a good year -- as I haven't received any for most of his life.
It is hard to let that bitterness go, but that is a whole other blog even!!
Recently, my son decided he will go to Job Corps., which will be great option for him. He can get some technical training to begin working, and earn his HS degree by showing competency as opposed to seat time, which is huge for him.
I am looking forward to him beginning to work towards his potential, but it is sad to realize that he will be leaving the nest at the tender age of 16. I feel sad as well, since I have had such a struggle with him and feel badly that I haven't had the time to devote my whole life to him as I would have liked.
So, we will see. Now the next part of raising a new family begins, as my daughter is 2 and it seems almost as if I have 2 separate families. This will definitely color where I decide ultimately to move, and my long term work plans.
The next month or so will be spent researching exactly which Job Corps he will attend, and planning/preparing him to go.
This time around
Fast forward to how I am making it now.
I knew it would be up to me alone to make it work this time when I found out I was pregnant. Long, sad story -- I don't even want to go into it.
Therefore, when I was out on my maternity leave (which happily coincided with my summer break as a teacher), I made it my full time job to find online teaching work. I spent my entire maternity leave applying for jobs, reading about online teaching, researching jobs and talking to anyone who'd listen -- PLUS I did the St Jude prayers every day (I know that helped!!) I was SO desperate, I had never felt that desperate before, as I knew I now had 2 kids to support, and my teenager was showing major challenges.
I knew I had to find a way to make it work. I finally got a break and was hired on my one online school. I worked FT hours with that school at night once I went back from my maternity break, and FT teaching hours as well. It was a horrible, stressful year that I will never forget. I probably spent about 3 hours a night sleeping, as the baby of course needed me as well. They say challenges can make or break you, it made me stronger and it changed me in ways I would have never realized.
I picked up another school halfway through the year, and finally to take a leap of faith and leave my FT teaching job. From there, I have faced challenges, but I have always found a way to make it out. It has been a real struggle, but it is all about the long term view -- looking to the future and keeping your eye on the ball.
I knew it would be up to me alone to make it work this time when I found out I was pregnant. Long, sad story -- I don't even want to go into it.
Therefore, when I was out on my maternity leave (which happily coincided with my summer break as a teacher), I made it my full time job to find online teaching work. I spent my entire maternity leave applying for jobs, reading about online teaching, researching jobs and talking to anyone who'd listen -- PLUS I did the St Jude prayers every day (I know that helped!!) I was SO desperate, I had never felt that desperate before, as I knew I now had 2 kids to support, and my teenager was showing major challenges.
I knew I had to find a way to make it work. I finally got a break and was hired on my one online school. I worked FT hours with that school at night once I went back from my maternity break, and FT teaching hours as well. It was a horrible, stressful year that I will never forget. I probably spent about 3 hours a night sleeping, as the baby of course needed me as well. They say challenges can make or break you, it made me stronger and it changed me in ways I would have never realized.
I picked up another school halfway through the year, and finally to take a leap of faith and leave my FT teaching job. From there, I have faced challenges, but I have always found a way to make it out. It has been a real struggle, but it is all about the long term view -- looking to the future and keeping your eye on the ball.
How I did it
When I was a single parent the first time, I didn't have many options. I had my BA, but it was in English -- woo hoo, not many job opps there that would enable me to be at home. I looked at my options and saw only a few. Daycare was the one I chose back then.
I was able to get started because I was living at my father's house, and I lucked into a situation where I was caring for 2 kids from one family. At about $150/head, this was about what I'd bring home from an admin job back then. My son loved the company of other kids, and it was a great building block to getting more kids -- I was allowed up to 5 -- and when I got another family of 2, it enabled me to move out of my dad's house.
From there, I was able to build upon my success. In terms of home daycare, I'd always suggest getting certified or licensed in the state/county where you live. It gives you credentials and allows other doors to open -- like the USDA food program as well as caring for kids the county subsidizes, such as those in foster care situations or low income. The county used to pay a month later for these kids, but it was guaranteed income -- they wouldn't flake out on you and not pay.
The food program (USDA) doesn't pay a lot, but they do offer education in meal planning, which I loved. The small amount they pay comes in handy and every little bit helps.
Another tip I'd suggest is to keep every single receipt for your childcare business. Run it like a business and be a professional. You will be surprised at how much you can deduct when it comes to tax time. Just be aware of all the rules regarding what deductions you can take, and pay a professional if you aren't good at doing your own taxes.
Contracts with your daycare parents are imperative -- check with other providers in your area to see what their contracts entail and make sure you add in holiday pay, as many parents will not bring their kids on those days and won't want to pay you unless it's in your contract. Again, run it like a business and be professional.
Another tip = plan your days and weeks so you have activities with the kids and don't resort to allowing them to sit around and watch tv all day. There is nothing worse as a parent than realizing your child just sits in front of a television all day. That's not why you are getting paid. Be a GOOD daycare provider and be involved -- don't just turn on the tv because you want to sit around all day. You can't do that at a regular job, don't do it at your home business!
When I did daycare before, one way I was able to make more money was to take in part time kids and charge an hourly rate. This was allowed as long as I didn't go over my child limit, which was 5. I'd have a few kids who left by 3, which was perfect for the other random child or two who came to my house after school. I was still making my bread and butter money from the weekly kids, but the drop ins were the icing on the cake!
Network with other providers in your area, so you don't feel so isolated and alone. It's so easy to fall into the pattern of feeling almost depressed because you are working at home with no other adults around, don't let this happen to you! Even if you just meet up with other providers or SAHM's once a week at the playground, it will make a difference in how you feel!
Also, don't go into this line of work if you don't like children, have no patience, or have children that need your undivided attention. Remember your purpose is to help take care of these children in your care -- if you have doubts as to whether or not you can do it, don't.
I was able to get started because I was living at my father's house, and I lucked into a situation where I was caring for 2 kids from one family. At about $150/head, this was about what I'd bring home from an admin job back then. My son loved the company of other kids, and it was a great building block to getting more kids -- I was allowed up to 5 -- and when I got another family of 2, it enabled me to move out of my dad's house.
From there, I was able to build upon my success. In terms of home daycare, I'd always suggest getting certified or licensed in the state/county where you live. It gives you credentials and allows other doors to open -- like the USDA food program as well as caring for kids the county subsidizes, such as those in foster care situations or low income. The county used to pay a month later for these kids, but it was guaranteed income -- they wouldn't flake out on you and not pay.
The food program (USDA) doesn't pay a lot, but they do offer education in meal planning, which I loved. The small amount they pay comes in handy and every little bit helps.
Another tip I'd suggest is to keep every single receipt for your childcare business. Run it like a business and be a professional. You will be surprised at how much you can deduct when it comes to tax time. Just be aware of all the rules regarding what deductions you can take, and pay a professional if you aren't good at doing your own taxes.
Contracts with your daycare parents are imperative -- check with other providers in your area to see what their contracts entail and make sure you add in holiday pay, as many parents will not bring their kids on those days and won't want to pay you unless it's in your contract. Again, run it like a business and be professional.
Another tip = plan your days and weeks so you have activities with the kids and don't resort to allowing them to sit around and watch tv all day. There is nothing worse as a parent than realizing your child just sits in front of a television all day. That's not why you are getting paid. Be a GOOD daycare provider and be involved -- don't just turn on the tv because you want to sit around all day. You can't do that at a regular job, don't do it at your home business!
When I did daycare before, one way I was able to make more money was to take in part time kids and charge an hourly rate. This was allowed as long as I didn't go over my child limit, which was 5. I'd have a few kids who left by 3, which was perfect for the other random child or two who came to my house after school. I was still making my bread and butter money from the weekly kids, but the drop ins were the icing on the cake!
Network with other providers in your area, so you don't feel so isolated and alone. It's so easy to fall into the pattern of feeling almost depressed because you are working at home with no other adults around, don't let this happen to you! Even if you just meet up with other providers or SAHM's once a week at the playground, it will make a difference in how you feel!
Also, don't go into this line of work if you don't like children, have no patience, or have children that need your undivided attention. Remember your purpose is to help take care of these children in your care -- if you have doubts as to whether or not you can do it, don't.
First post
Ok, this is my second time trying to create a decent blog.
I'm a stay at home single parent making it on my incomes and supporting a teenager and 2 year old.
Many people ask me how I do it, and I just say 'I had to.' I mean, really, when you get NO child support (it's easy for people to get away w/that if they really want to) and daycare is $600/month, what are your other options?
PLUS and this is a huge plus, who's raising your kids?
The first time I was a single parent, I stayed at home by doing daycare which made my life more structured and much more of a feel of a regular SAHM.
This time, I have been able to be at home now for 2 years because of cobbling together enough online teaching gigs and breeding labradoodles.
I feel like if you want to do anything badly enough, you'll make it happen for you.
This blog will cover how I did it, my general philosophies and random ideas about being at home on your own, working and raising kids.
I'm a stay at home single parent making it on my incomes and supporting a teenager and 2 year old.
Many people ask me how I do it, and I just say 'I had to.' I mean, really, when you get NO child support (it's easy for people to get away w/that if they really want to) and daycare is $600/month, what are your other options?
PLUS and this is a huge plus, who's raising your kids?
The first time I was a single parent, I stayed at home by doing daycare which made my life more structured and much more of a feel of a regular SAHM.
This time, I have been able to be at home now for 2 years because of cobbling together enough online teaching gigs and breeding labradoodles.
I feel like if you want to do anything badly enough, you'll make it happen for you.
This blog will cover how I did it, my general philosophies and random ideas about being at home on your own, working and raising kids.
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